A broken city

I think it finally hit me today as I was getting off the train, I am living in Sydney. It’s one of those cities you always hear about…just like New York, Los Angeles, Paris, London…but I’m not only here, I’m a part of this city. I ride the train, ride the bus, and walk the streets of Sydney. I know where the grocery stores, the restaurants, and the places of leisure are. This has become my city. And each day I am here, I begin to feel the burden. I’m sitting in our 11th floor apartment that overlooks Hyde Park watching the sun go down on a city where businessmen might be wrapping up their workday, schoolchildren are catching trains to go home, and homeless people are thankful that they have made it through another day, wondering if there is anything to live for. This is a reality. It’s easy to brush it off when you are removed from it. This week has made it impossible for me to just brush off. Monday, Rachel and I stopped to talk to a woman outside Woolworth’s. She had some paintings set up to sell. We learned that she just recently had a baby but had to give it up because she could not provide for it. She is living with a friend and trying to save money to get a place of her own, so she can reunite her own family and all live together. The past two days we have worked in a soup kitchen. It’s easy to judge them. It’s easy to even brush it off after serving them food, but sit down and have a conversation with them and it’s impossible. Today, one man talked for about an hour about how he used to have joy in his life, he was married. But now he doesn’t have anything to live for. He would just assume end his life. He so desperately wants someone to tell him he has worth, that he is valuable. The feeler in me hurt for him and the pain he is going through but I couldn’t voice the truth that he needed to hear. Brandon did though—that the only thing that would bring true fulfillment and the only reason to wake up is Jesus Christ. Just like when talking with the Muslim woman last week, this was an enlightening moment for me. I began to see the Gospel from someone else’s perspective. In fact, believing the Gospel is easy for me. I live a fairly easy life. In fact, I don’t even put complete faith in Christ because I so often put faith in myself as well. But this man, the Gospel is hard for him to accept because he sees all the bad stuff in his life and can’t believe in a God who would allow that. To quote him “The only place God has carried me is to hell.” Putting faith in that God is difficult for him. And it challenges my faith. This man needs Christ.

I so desperately want to make a difference. But what is my motivation? To make my own name great? So that I can go home and tell everybody all these cool things that God has done through me? In fact, God has worked more in my own heart than he has worked through my hands. And I know without a shadow of a doubt, that’s exactly where he wants me. If nothing else, God has broken me of my own plans, my own comforts, and torn down my kingdom that I have worked for years to build up. We have 9 days left in this city. My prayer is that the Lord continues to teach me, to mold me, and to completely turn my world upside down.

It's a sunny day!

We have made Christianity all about ourselves. We read books on finding our best life now. We know what to say to someone who has lost a loved one. We know all the Bible verses on anxiety and worrying, but how many of us can spit out verses that explain the Gospel? Coming into a country with the purpose of sharing the Gospel, I have realized that I actually have to think about it for a few minutes when writing out what the Gospel is. When we make the Gospel the center of Christianity, we fall in love with the Christ of the Gospel. If we actually meditate on the meaning of the Gospel and not just what the Gospel can do for us and help us live a more comfortable life, we understand what Christ means when he says, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” (Matt. 28:19). We are here to live for something greater than ourselves—God’s Kingdom, but we have squished up and tried to mold God’s Kingdom to fit into our own little kingdoms in which we are the ruler, not God. We have our own agenda about how we are going to come over to Australia, share the Gospel, and feel good about ourselves because we have done our contribution for the Kingdom of God, but we have really been doing it for our own glory—to feel good about ourselves—to build up our own self-ruled kingdom. This is how the Gospel gets pushed out of our Christian lives. I find myself often feeling numb to the Gospel—it’s not because I want to, but I rarely come up against something that challenges it. I find myself becoming perfectly content to stay in my Christian bubble where biblical conversations are easy. They know the Gospel, so I rarely have to talk about it. When I get out of my Bible belt and come to a country where only 9% of the country attends church, I have to know the Gospel. I have to be able to explain what changed my life and why I believe living for Christ is the only thing that will bring fulfillment in this life. And when I do that, I fall more and more in love with Christ because I am seeing the Gospel through another person’s eyes. God has brought me here for his Kingdom—and his Kingdom does not just include converting all the Aussies I meet. He continues to sanctify me and transform me into the likeness of Christ.

As we were getting ready for church on Sunday morning, we discussed the fact that our leader Matt was preaching at church. One girl said, “Get ready to be convicted.” It was definitely true. He preached on 1 Corinthians 13. As I have already mentioned, ministry really reveals sin and insecurities. And I am learning that I have mastered the Christian life. We all have. We know exactly how to live life so that we appear holy—like we have it all together. And getting here, doing ministry in a way I have never done before, I realize that I don’t have it all together—that I in fact can’t fool anyone. In fact, it’s true for all of us because we are all sinful beings. We are able to mask the fact that we are living for our own kingdoms by making others think and even ourselves think that we are living for the Kingdom of God. Coming back to 1 Corinthians 13, love is the basis of our spiritual maturity. We can serve, be kind to other people, and even share Christ with others, with all the wrong motives. It’s not like we consciously think, I am going to serve them so that they will think I am a better Christian, but if we get to the heart of the matter, that’s exactly why we are doing it. We have built our own kingdoms in which we are the center. If someone challenges our rule over that kingdom or gets in the way, our sin is revealed. That is exactly what is happening. I feel a threat to my kingdom and all the insecurities that I have covered up so well have come up to the surface.

Our team is split into two teams—one goes to UNSW and one goes to USyd. I go to USyd with three boys and two other girls. One of those girls is going on staff with Campus Outreach while the other one is going into the ministry, possibly here in Australia. So it’s hard to not compare myself to them. I know I wasn’t wired for this kind of ministry…doesn’t mean I’m not called to it, but I am a more behind the scenes type of person. So being in this type of ministry has been really humbling. I realized quite quickly that I don’t have it all together and there’s no fooling anyone. It’s been a very growing experience for me, and I am thankful for your prayers! Keep praying…we have about 2 and a half more weeks here to invest in people. Can’t wait to tell you guys everything!

Hello from the land down under!

Things I have learned my first two weeks in Sydney, Australia…

1.When crossing the street, look right instead of left because cars drive on the left side of the road.
2.Always be ready to run—in a moment’s notice you could be late for your plane, your train, or your bus.
3.Americans really are obnoxious.
4.Koala bears do not just run wild in the trees of downtown Sydney, but opossums do.
5.For an emergency, call 000, but 911 works too.
6.There are two types of flushes on the toilet, but they both look the same to me.
7.Mate here refers to your friend, not the person you are married to.


Our leader Matt gave a talk the other night at one of our campus meetings with the ministry we are working with. And as he was talking, I discovered something about myself. I am very turned away from obsessions. I can’t stand it when people are obsessed about things. I will not read Harry Potter, Twilight, or any of the sort because people are obsessed, and I don’t want to be that person. In fact, things that I do love (such as Alabama football) I hold back from unless I am with someone who also loves it. But I realized that because I am like this, it has also affected my walk with Christ. You see, because I have trained myself to run from obsessions and to not show emotion at all to things I love, I have retreated from talking about Christ with people other than Christians. And even at that it’s hard for me to talk about Christ with people I’m not completely comfortable around. As Matt pointed out, we will talk about what we worship. So it was definitely convicting for me.

I think the hardest part about doing ministry is feeling a complete and utter incompetence for ministry. Satan really feeds us lies. It has been really encouraging that through all of Satan’s lies, we can see God’s power displayed. We have seen several instances when it’s only through God’s hands that we would be in that situation. It’s mindblowing to think that before the foundation of the world, God chose each and every one of us to be in Australia in the summer of 2010. He wanted me here. And even though each day I continue to see my failures and my insecurities, he still chooses to use me for his Kingdom. Today me and Ramsey sat down to talk to a Muslim lady. I must confess that sometimes I feel numb to the gospel. But talking to this lady who kept saying that we worship a God who is just a normal person like you and me, when she doesn’t understand the security and freedom she can have in Christ, made me really appreciate the Gospel that much more. He has really been revealing himself to us in the little things and in the big things.
We have met a lot of Uni students. We only have one more week on campus. The thing is, it is their dead week. And since most people live off campus, not many people will be on campus for us to meet with. SO pray that the Lord would bless this week. I’m praying that he will really work this week, despite that. We so desperately want to see the fruit of our labor and come over here and change the world, but we are learning to be content and rest in the fact that God is working through everything. He is using us for his Kingdom exactly how he planned. So that’s exactly where we want to be—right in his will. I’m sending an even more detailed update in an email to those on the email list because I don’t want to just post everything for the whole world to see. SO if you aren’t on the email list and want to be added, send me an email at kpkelley@samford.edu.

Finally here!

I feel like I have so much to say so bear with me! I know I have somewhat explained to some people what we are going to be doing, but I feel like a lot of people don’t really know, so I’ll start with that. Campus Outreach, the ministry that I am here with started at Samford University. It has now spread to college campuses all over the United States. But it has also spread to Australia. It is in Brisbane, Australia which is in Queensland. Campus Outreach Australia has since planted a Campus Outreach in New Zealand as well. We had been told that they were looking to start one in Sydney which is why they were sending a team there this summer. But we didn’t really know much more than that. After getting down here, we have been going through orientation with the Campus Outreach Australia director named Rich. We learned that their mission was to spread to other campuses in Australia. In 2004 they visioned to have three CCP teams going to Australia in 2010. That is this summer and we have 3 teams going to Armidale, Brisbane, and Sydney! It’s amazing because we usually only have 1 CCP team each summer. It’s great to feel like we are a part of what God is doing over here in Australia. With that said, Rich really wants us to investigate our college campus here in Sydney. He wants us to develop a plan as to how ministry would work here in Sydney. There are essentially three college campuses (although they call them universities here. Colleges are like their dorms). I have been assigned to the University of Sydney. So we will be going there two or three days a week and go to another campus one day a week. We are also partnering with another ministry while we are here. Jim Jung is a Korean American who was commissioned by Missions of the World to Australia about 3 or 4 years ago. He has helped to plant a church while also has started a ministry called Students Outreach to the World on each of these 3 campuses. However, it is all Asian because of the high Asian population. We are partnering with them so that we can learn about the campuses while also meeting students on campus to get them plugged in there. So that’s a little bit of what we will be doing.

The dynamics of Christianity and of the church is way different here than it is in Bible Belt, America. Even though I had been told that, it is definitely obvious even from the minute we flew into Australia. As we were riding a bus at the Brisbane airport to be taken to our next flight to Sydney, I overheard a conversation in which two Aussies were talking and then I heard one of them say something like, “It must have been a Christian.” When we were walking around the harbor, we decided to take a group picture. A photographer asked if we would like a professional photograph, and we told him no thanks and he responds…”I thought that since you were Christians you would have high standards.” Our leader Matt got stopped going through customs at the Brisbane airport because he had written “Minister” on his card as his occupation. Basically the man asked him if he had come here to work and told him that Australia has enough ministers and doesn’t need anymore. He basically told him he couldn’t work here and couldn’t do anything that an Australian could. But IN fact, I was recently told a statistic that about 2.5% of those in Sydney or maybe it’s all of Australia claim to be born again Christians when Indonesia has about 10%. So the problem here is not nominalism at all. It’s that they don’t believe in their need for a Savior. If you talk to them about Christianity, they may agree with everything you say, but it still doesn’t matter to them.

We start going on campuses Monday. I’m really excited about it but naturally really nervous. So pray that we would get in good conversation and quickly learn the dynamics of the campus.

Just a little of what we have been doing…we have really just been going through orientation. There is a lot of Thai food so we have gone there, and we went to like probably the only Mexican food restaurant today. We went to the market today and it was definitely an experience. I’m excited about eating some really fresh food. And we have been running a little bit in the mornings. This morning we ran to the Sydney Opera House. It is so pretty here! Thanks so much for your prayers! I’ll try to update again soon after we get on campus and meet some people.

The Big Day

Well, tomorrow is the big day! I'm kind of nervous, but I don't think it's really going to hit me until I get on the plane. I said I would update with more prayer requests, but honestly I don't know anything more specific than what I already said. But just pray for safe travel and opportunities to meet college students. I'll try to update as soon as I can when we make it there and continue to add prayer requests as they come up! Thanks for everything guys!

One week to go!

"In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him. In the process he powerfully demonstrates his ability to provide everything his people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined. And in the end, he makes much of his own name." -David Platt

This quote comes from chapter 3 of David Platt's new book Radical. This chapter is titled "The Importance of relying on God's Power." Seems a little ironic huh? Why would someone have to write a chapter on the importance of relying on the infinite God's power? Why would we have to read it, and yet we still won't get it. Shouldn't we already know the importance of it? All we have to do is look around us at everything that God has created to see his glory and power. But we all too often think our own power is sufficent. I am all too often guilty of this. I say that I believe in the Lord's immeasurable power, but my actions say otherwise. And so God keeps putting us in situations where we are forced to fall on our faces before God and admit our utter dependency on Him-but only after we have exhausted all efforts and resources of our own.

I like to have a plan. I like to be in control of my life. Really, who doesn't? I'm quickly leanring that God's plan doesn't always look like mine. As I venture into a different country, I wonder if I will be a coward in sharing the Gospel. I, myself, do not have the power to do this, but the Lord has equipped us with the Holy Spirit to lead us. He has given us his power. My prayer this summer is that the Lord would use me in ways I never knew possible--that he would use me so much that I couldn't help but attribute all of it to his glorious name.

Please join me in praying for the Aussies--that the Lord would break down any walls in their hearts toward the Gospel. Pray for me and my team that we would be bold--that the Gospel would be so much of who we are that we would jump at any opportunity to share what has so deeply changed our lives. Also, please pray for support to come in. I am still lacking about $1350 to go on my personal goal, and others are still lacking as well. The Lord works on his own time schedule, so pray he would provide and display his glory!

I'll update before we leave next Monday with more specific prayer requests so check back! Thanks guys!

Amidst the Chaos

To be completely honest, this has been a rough semester. You would think after getting through 7 semesters of college, I would be able to handle them better. They should be a piece of cake by now right? Wrong. In fact, what’s most stressful about my semester is not the academic part really at all. As I have contemplated this over the past few months wondering where all this anxiety and stress came from, I have really had to evaluate myself. I have always been able to handle stress well and work well under pressure. So why the sudden breakdown? Everybody is busy. Everybody has a ton of things going on, and I feel like I’m just another one of those people. Nobody even has time to care. But if everybody else can deal with it, why can’t I? Just yesterday I told myself I was through worrying. I just wanted to take life one day at a time. So as I went through the day with a complete piece of mind, I found myself stopping and thinking, “Wait, isn’t there something I need to be worrying about. There has to be somewhere I am expected to be right now. Let me pull out my mental list.” There will always be something to worry about. There will always be things left and right demanding my attention and energy. There will always be stress. And I have experienced the effects it can take on a person, both physically and emotionally this semester.

I think Satan has used stress in my life to convince me to believe lies. One stressor in my life is raising support. In fact, as I think back on several medical problems I have had that could be made worse through stress, I noticed that they started about the time I decided to go on CCP this summer. They were made worse when I began to raise support. And they just continue to get worse. And with each day that passes, I have a hard time getting excited about this summer for fear that maybe I won’t be there. I still need roughly $3000, and right now it seems like it would take nothing short of a miracle to raise it. Satan is using everything possible to tell me that I’m not worthy enough for God to use this summer. He is telling me that if I want to be there this summer, I am going to have to get there on my own. He is telling me that every obstacle I am up against, both in raising support and other things going on in my personal life, are too big for God to handle. They are definitely too big for me to handle, and I have definitely seen that as each day that goes by I realize my complete and utter failure to do anything that brings glory to God. So here I am wondering what it is going to take for me to give it all up.

I’m reading Crazy Love right now by Francis Chan. The Lord has really spoken to me through this book on worry and stress. The second chapter in the book is titled, “You Might Not Finish This Chapter.” I have read this chapter 3 times because there is such truth in it. Philippians 4:4-8 has become a scripture passage that I am really clinging to lately…

“Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is commendable, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Francis Chan states, “When I am consumed by my problems—stressed out about my life, my family, and my job—I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words that I have a ‘right’ to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.”

Wow, I never thought about it actually being disobedience when I fail to rejoice. You see, I get so caught up in my day to day responsibilities that I fail to rejoice and have a grateful heart that I have the opportunity to go to college, that I have a job, that I have salvation and even have the opportunity to raise support to go to Australia. Seeing these problems in the midst of a great God, makes all of them seem so small.

So my prayer for me and you this week is that amidst the chaos of life, we will be able to see God. Even in the moments when I’m driving in my car going from one thing to the next I can meditate on a Creator who gives me the opportunity to see His glory. If life were easy, we would have no need for a Savior, but since it’s not, we can rest in the knowledge that his power is made perfect in our weakness.