It's a sunny day!

We have made Christianity all about ourselves. We read books on finding our best life now. We know what to say to someone who has lost a loved one. We know all the Bible verses on anxiety and worrying, but how many of us can spit out verses that explain the Gospel? Coming into a country with the purpose of sharing the Gospel, I have realized that I actually have to think about it for a few minutes when writing out what the Gospel is. When we make the Gospel the center of Christianity, we fall in love with the Christ of the Gospel. If we actually meditate on the meaning of the Gospel and not just what the Gospel can do for us and help us live a more comfortable life, we understand what Christ means when he says, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” (Matt. 28:19). We are here to live for something greater than ourselves—God’s Kingdom, but we have squished up and tried to mold God’s Kingdom to fit into our own little kingdoms in which we are the ruler, not God. We have our own agenda about how we are going to come over to Australia, share the Gospel, and feel good about ourselves because we have done our contribution for the Kingdom of God, but we have really been doing it for our own glory—to feel good about ourselves—to build up our own self-ruled kingdom. This is how the Gospel gets pushed out of our Christian lives. I find myself often feeling numb to the Gospel—it’s not because I want to, but I rarely come up against something that challenges it. I find myself becoming perfectly content to stay in my Christian bubble where biblical conversations are easy. They know the Gospel, so I rarely have to talk about it. When I get out of my Bible belt and come to a country where only 9% of the country attends church, I have to know the Gospel. I have to be able to explain what changed my life and why I believe living for Christ is the only thing that will bring fulfillment in this life. And when I do that, I fall more and more in love with Christ because I am seeing the Gospel through another person’s eyes. God has brought me here for his Kingdom—and his Kingdom does not just include converting all the Aussies I meet. He continues to sanctify me and transform me into the likeness of Christ.

As we were getting ready for church on Sunday morning, we discussed the fact that our leader Matt was preaching at church. One girl said, “Get ready to be convicted.” It was definitely true. He preached on 1 Corinthians 13. As I have already mentioned, ministry really reveals sin and insecurities. And I am learning that I have mastered the Christian life. We all have. We know exactly how to live life so that we appear holy—like we have it all together. And getting here, doing ministry in a way I have never done before, I realize that I don’t have it all together—that I in fact can’t fool anyone. In fact, it’s true for all of us because we are all sinful beings. We are able to mask the fact that we are living for our own kingdoms by making others think and even ourselves think that we are living for the Kingdom of God. Coming back to 1 Corinthians 13, love is the basis of our spiritual maturity. We can serve, be kind to other people, and even share Christ with others, with all the wrong motives. It’s not like we consciously think, I am going to serve them so that they will think I am a better Christian, but if we get to the heart of the matter, that’s exactly why we are doing it. We have built our own kingdoms in which we are the center. If someone challenges our rule over that kingdom or gets in the way, our sin is revealed. That is exactly what is happening. I feel a threat to my kingdom and all the insecurities that I have covered up so well have come up to the surface.

Our team is split into two teams—one goes to UNSW and one goes to USyd. I go to USyd with three boys and two other girls. One of those girls is going on staff with Campus Outreach while the other one is going into the ministry, possibly here in Australia. So it’s hard to not compare myself to them. I know I wasn’t wired for this kind of ministry…doesn’t mean I’m not called to it, but I am a more behind the scenes type of person. So being in this type of ministry has been really humbling. I realized quite quickly that I don’t have it all together and there’s no fooling anyone. It’s been a very growing experience for me, and I am thankful for your prayers! Keep praying…we have about 2 and a half more weeks here to invest in people. Can’t wait to tell you guys everything!